June 17, 2020

The Punniest Way to Celebrate Father’s Day

Lord Byron once said “Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” As we prepare to celebrate another holiday in the midst of COVID-19, we put together a list of Dad Jokes in honor of Father’s Day! These gems might make you laugh or they might make you roll your eyes, but either way, we hope they add some sort of humor to your day.

Food Jokes

“Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.”

“What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!”

“A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.”

“Did you hear the rumor about the peanut butter? I don’t want to spread it!”

SERVER: “Sorry about your wait.”
DAD: “Are you saying I’m fat?”

CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?”
DAD: “No, just leave it in the carton.”

KID: “There’s too much cheese on my pizza!”
DAD: “I think you have grater problems than that!”

“How do you make an apple turnover? You roll it down the hill of course!”

Kid Jokes

KID: “Dad, make me a sandwich.”
DAD: “POOF, you’re a sandwich!”

“If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”

My daughter screeched, “Dad, you haven’t listed to one word I’ve said, have you?!”  What a strange way to start a conversation with me…

My son just walked up to me and said “Can I have a book mark?” All these years, and he still doesn’t know my name is not Mark! – Courtesy of NMB President/CEO Dan Shinnick

Jokes without a Theme but Eye-Roll Worthy

“Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C? Because you can’t C in the dark!”

“Why do graveyards have gates? Because people are dying to get in!”

The Secret Service isn’t allowed to yell “Get Down!” anymore when the President is about to be attacked. Now, they have to yell, “Donald, Duck!” – Courtesy of NMB President/CEO Dan Shinnick

There are 3 unwritten rules of life:
1.
2.
3.

Just kidding- we really think one of the rules of life involves laughing, so hopefully one of these puns made you crack a smile!

 

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